i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
