I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
