Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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