do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
