First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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