Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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