No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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