u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
