remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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