Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
