1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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