So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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