Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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