Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
