Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
