I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
