If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
