Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize