I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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