ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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