Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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