I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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