omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize