I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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