Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
