I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize