Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
