God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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