So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
