my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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