It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
