I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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