I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
