Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize