I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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