If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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