You work out of a Hotel?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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