Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
