The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm passing your future prison.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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