we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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