census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
