It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
