Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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