i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
