Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
