Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
