There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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