does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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