I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
