tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
