Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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