yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I stole a fireplace last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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