Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
