Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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