I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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