So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
